Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Boss at a Loss

Whenever I send out E-luminations, I get wonderful comments in response. I decided to open up the comments for everyone to see by turning E-luminations into a blog. I'll also be upping the mailings from monthly to once every week or two. Let me know what you think.

It was over a decade ago that I wrote a corporate version of "The Cat In The Hat" called "The Clerk With The Smirk" (You can read it at, under "Columns".} Now it seems fitting to turn Suessian with the managers who have only one response to trouble – laying off employees. So, with a nod to the late, great Dr Suess, here is…


The sun did not shine
On the boss and his staff.
The rain came to stay
For a quarter, a half.

"We're in this together,"
Said the Boss At A Loss.
We ten must work smarter
To make it across.

The staff they were eager
To try something new:
"Just give the OK and –
Your team will come through.

"We'll all get creative.
Instead of despairing,
We'll shake things up
With plans that are daring."

"Whoa, no need to get wild,"
Cried The Boss At A Loss.
"We need to drill down
And cut, cut, cut costs."

But cutting and cutting
Turned into a spiral,
The bad news kept coming,
The decline went viral.

"I've got to do more,"
Thought the Boss At A Loss.
"We have to cut staff --
I'll weed out the dross."

"We're in this together"
Said the boss to the six.
"We've got to spend less
To get out of this fix.

"We've got to work smarter
In this econo-mergency,
We all have to feel
A sense of urgency.

"No more sales trips,
No more buying of bagels.
We need to cut service,
On prices finagle."

"We're in this together,
It's up to us three.
I'll be here for you…
Well… no guarantee."

And The Boss at a Loss
Got into a rut –
Tut, tut, and cut.
Cut, Cut, and tut.

The lonely last employee
She said with a sigh,
"We can't keep doing nothing,
Let's give something a try."

"You're the only one left,"
Said the Boss At A Loss.
"One more expense --
The last item to toss."

Then the Boss had a plan
To turn things around.
He shouted for help,
But no, not a sound."

"I thought it was lonely,
When I was on top;
But nothing like bottom,
The last shoe to drop."

So he locked up the door,
And still holding the knob,
Swore he'd get creative...
In finding a new job.


©2008 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.